Starting on another journey (and you're all coming with)

Thursday morning. You know, I actually - just for a moment - thought to myself that I might need to start another journal just for my mental health/binge eating discussions until I remembered that this is my (purported) weight loss/fitness site and, therefore, the perfect place for these discussions. Perhaps by my being open about my disorder others will seek help or gain a greater understanding of their own issues. At the very least, I'll get things out in the open that I need to talk about somewhere.

So I had my first meeting with my therapist and it went very well. She's a nice lady and is part of a group that has an outpatient eating disorders clinic, which is very exciting. The clinic includes very small group sessions, yoga and movement, nutritional counseling (not that I need that - I could teach the class on what you're supposed to eat!), and one-on-one psychotherapy. I don't know how much of that I would be interested in and none of it's required, as I can simply attend therapy with my doctor if that's helpful enough. Still, it's nice to know that it's available if I want it.

I got some good information about binge eating, both from my session and also from the reading materials the doctor sent me home with. There is a very strong connection between binge eating disorder and depression, for instance, although they're not sure if one causes the other, if they're both symptoms of something else, or if it's just a coincidence. Binge eaters also tend to have been overweight at a much earlier age (childhood) than those that don't binge eat. Both of those are very true of me, so that was somehow comforting.

I also have a food log to fill out (joy), with a column to indicate whether it was part of a binge or not and, if so, a space on the back of the log to delve into root causes for the binge and do some problem solving retroactively. Interesting. I've never previously been any good at the whole journaling thing, but I'm really committed to kicking this thing, so I'm giving it a shot. I can't see myself actually writing down all of my binge buddy foods, but, again, I've committed myself to the process, so I've got to give it my all.

There's the fitness portion of this exercise. If you're interested in the rest of my life:

* Alcott (my assigned foster child for Voices for Children) is having some issues right now that are making me really stressed out and frustrated. This has not yet, however, bled into the rest of my life and I appear to be doing a good job of keeping it contained

* Daddy is doing well and has gone back to work full time, which also worries me because I think it's too much for him so soon after surgery (he works 10 hour shifts), but that's just my opinion

* Work and my new position are going really well. I'm now mostly transitioned over to my new role other than being on the interview team to find my replacement on my former team. It's such a huge, new adventure that it's got me jumping up and down with anticipation of what's coming next

* The house is actually looking nicer although there's lots more work to be done. TCB came down to my place after work on Tuesday to install my curtain rods which, for the most part, was done. Unfortunately, one of the curtain rod kits I'd bought didn't have the mounting hardware inside, so I'm going to have to get another one - boo! However, I do have curtains on one of my two upstairs windows now and they look fabulous, which pleases me greatly

* TCB and I are going well. No details here, but you know where to go if you want to know more.

I'm going to work on daily posting here, so keep on checking back for updates. This is going to be an interesting journey, I can just feel it!

Comments

JustLinda said…
Hi, just stumbled across your blog. Good luck in your journey! I have a similar challenge that I expect I will have my entire life. I did try to find a therapist, but could not find a single one who didn't specialize 'only' in anorexia or bullemia. So I haven't pursued that avenue yet.
EMLB said…
I was told that if i wanted to succeed in recovering from the disease of compulsive overeating i had to do two things: (1) be honest and (2) ask for help. You are getting the help, the journalling of the bingey foods is just the being honest part. Simple, but not easy. Hang in there! You know tons of us out here in the blogosphere are rooting for you!
Shannin said…
You are taking such a huge and important step - I am so happy for you. I know you are going to be successful, and so much happier. Glad things are going well with TCB as well...
theaddict said…
I have read lots of great books on binge eating and highly recommend a book called, "Swallow" that I have an image of on my site. I am so glad to hear you are in therapy and I wish you all the best with it.
M@rla said…
Yes, please blog all about your counseling, that's what we're paying you for!

Glad to see you've started, I'll bet it's a huge help and you'll probably figure out all kinds of inter-related things in your life.
Argy said…
I am just so proud of you for taking this step Denise!!!!
La said…
Can't wait to hear your insights and read about your progress.
Shrinking Girl said…
For me, I find that journalling my food and posting in my blog are two things that keep me honest. I guess it's harder to lie to myself when I can see everything in front of me, in black and white. You are so heading in the right direction Denise, good for you!! Goodness knows it's not an easy thing to do.
Anonymous said…
Good for you Denise. I hope you know you are encouraging a lot of us out here in blog land. I have actually made it to the gym 2 times this week. I am going to shoot for 3 times next week. I am still waiting for that pilates tape I ordered on Amazon. Hmmm... anyhoo...keep up the good work. We are here with you!!
yvonne said…
I'm only too happy to follow along on your journey. And I'm considering getting some couples counseling myself (for me & my stomach, ala Marla).

Hugs & Best Wishes & (can't believe I'm about to say this!) Keep Posting!!!

*giggle*
Anonymous said…
Nutritional counseling - you could teach it yourself...

How true is that! I love it when folks try to tell overweight folks what we should be eating. Anyone who has been dieting their whole life like most of us have know EXACTLY what we should be eating. Do they think it's going to be a sudden epiphany to hear that DOH - we should cut calories and carbs and exercise more?!
Hurray for starting the therapy! Take advantage of as much of the program as you can, and do keep us posted.

Daily postings, huh? Must be a very busy weekend--hope it's a fun one!
Anonymous said…
Wow! Good luck on your new journey and keep us posted.
Chana
www.bunnyburrow.com
brent said…
cool, i hope you keep posting on this because it'll help us all. i'm curious too, like what qualifies as binge eating, a certain number of calories? and how come i can go through periods where i'm not really full even though i can consume so many calories at once? but sometimes i get full on a normal amount of food? whats up with that? you dont' really have to answer, i'm just sort of wondering outloud on your journal (how rude of me heh). ever since i got out of college and started working all the time, i have struggled with it more. it seems to be the most challenging for me during the winter.

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