And the beat goes on...
Friday morning. Once again, last night, I binged out. I ate a double cheeseburger, large fries, onion rings, chicken strips, and, let us not forget, chocolate shake. Just writing it all down embarrasses me to no end. I have no idea why I did it. I tried to talk to myself on the way home from work (don't worry, I put my headset on so that it would look like I was on the phone...no need to frighten the natives!) and see what was going on and why this need to stuff myself was more important than feeling good or looking good, but I didn't get an answer. I promised Chris a few days ago that I'd call him before I ate anything that I'm not supposed to, but if I could do that, I wouldn't be eating this stuff to begin with. When he finds out about this secret eating, and he will, he's going to be so very angry with me. Not because he wants me to lose weight for aesthetic reasons (he actually likes me as I am, which is more than I can say for myself), but because he's afraid that unless I lose weight I am going to die early of some nasty diabetic complication, which is, honestly, a distinct possibility. (Yes, I tried to tell myself that last night, too. Didn't work.) I've tried talking to Dr. Karen about my eating and it just didn't seem to help, so I'm loathe to go down that road again, but I can't just give up. I don't know what to do and it's killing me, figuratively and (most likely) literally.
On a brighter note, I'd like to wish a slightly belated Happy Birthday to a fellow Libran. Georgia, your encouragement as I slog through the wonderland that is training for my first marathon, is much appreciated and came at just the right time this morning. Thank you.
I'm missing one of my favorite reads this week. Are you OK? Have they shackled you to your desk? If you need me to fend off menacing product managers, you just let me know!
OK, one technical specification analysis down, creating an on call schedule and cleaning up my notes from a conference earlier this month for publication to go! Happy Friday, all.