Links to the past
I didn't post after I'd met him for the first time online. Part of me didn't want to jinx it, part of me didn't believe that someone like him could be real. In any case, I didn't post about it until we'd decided to meet in person.
My very first posting about Chris - May 12
When I realized that I loved him - May 18
My first posting after our face to face meeting - May 25
The day Chris proposed - December 25
Thank you very much to each of you that has taken the time to write since my posting this morning. In reading through my archives to find the "Chris material", I have, quite literally, walked down memory lane. In reading the post from May 25th, everything that I felt that day came back to me, crystal clear and in Technicolor. I remember my amazement at the fact that I'd let my heart go once again. I never thought, after my divorce, that I'd feel that way about anyone again. Funny, but now, I'm shaking my head in amazement that I was ever that closed up. The grace that I talked about, that's still here with me -- though not so much today -- and it lifts me above a lot of the bureaucratic stupidity at work and in life. Chris gave me all of that, or our love did, or perhaps it only helped reveal what was already there, covered with an overgrowth of insecurity.
One line in particular stays with me, though. It's from May 18th: "You just don't get the opportunity of a lifetime twice, and I'm holding on to this one for dear life."
Lots to think about.