A terrible, petty confession

Sunday night. I am really uncomfortable telling you this, but I am a rotten friend. My friend, Tracy, has been here since Friday morning and it's been great seeing her. She's been doing a medically-supervised, low calorie food plan (shakes and meals) for a few months now and she's lost more in those few months than I have in 11 months. (Well, technically, only six months, since I haven't lost any weight since early December.) She looks fabulous, she's strong, she is planning to start running soon, and she's on track to be done with this thing by mid August. Mid August! If I were to totally get myself back on track immediately, I'll still have over 40 pounds to lose by them - GRRRRR. And running? Running is my thing. (Not that I can do it right now or any time in the last eight years, but...) Don't get me wrong, I'm totally thrilled for her and proud of her, but I'm also jealous as all get out. I'm hoping this will help motivate me (as if I needed more motivation) to get my routine back into gear.

Anyone remember back when it was all just effortlessly cruising along for me? Yeah, me, too, but it's becoming a more distant memory with each and every day.

Comments

a new start said…
Denise,
I can sympathize w/ what you are saying about being envious...like you, I haven't lost very much weight since the beginning of the year...in fact...none...Someone at work has been loosing weight at a faster rate than I have...and yes, I'm jealous and I often think why isn't it happening for me...but you know what, what she is doing doesn't fit into my life style for now...and so, unless you are willing to be on a supervised program of shakes and meals...maybe this plan your friend is on, isn't for you too...I think we've got to find something that works for us...but yes, watching others be successful at something we've tried so hard to do basically sucks...
12:38 AM
Lindsay said…
Denise--you'll drive yourself nuts if you measure yourself against someone else. Find out what's helped your friend stick to her goals and see if you can translate that wisdom to your life! You've accomplished so much in these past few months, regardless of what the numbers on a scale might say. You have it in you to be as successful as your friend, but more importantly, to be successful for yourself. Take care, sweetie!
9:19 AM
thegrayelm said…
Denise-try not to get discouraged. I've lost a lot of weight in a short time on more than one occassion, only to gain it all back. With shakes and such, is that going to be a permanent habit? It is the permanent changes that will last - we need to learn new good habits to replace old bad ones. That is how we loose it and keep it off. Remember, just maintaining is a big improvement over where you were before. I also would encourage you to visualize yourself skinny, and each time you eat to ask yourself which do you want worse, what you are about to eat or to be that person you visualize. Remember slow steady weight loss is the way to loose it.

Hope I've been an encouragement. And I realize I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but sometimes it helps to be reminded that the glass is half full!
11:27 AM
theaddict said…
I know how hard it is to fight envy, but I actually think if you allow it to help you get yourself back on track then it won't be negative. I agree that losing a lot of weight in a short period of time isn't ideal for keeping it off for life, only because statistics show people who do that, usually gain it back and then some. You'll work out what is best for you, I know you will.
3:33 PM
M@rla said…
Tracy sucks! I hate her! You shouldn't even be friends with that beeyotch!

Seriously, the decision to do a shake-diet isn't for everyone. For some people it's a good solution, but like everyone else I have to ask "how will she keep the weight off?" I wouldn't want to be condemned to a liquid diet the rest of my life.

I think when it comes to weight loss, slow and steady wins the race. You'll get there, and so will I, just not as fast as we wish.
3:58 AM
Kris said…
I've been there before too, Denise. And ditto what Marla said. She's a smart cookie. Slow and steady...I do wish it were faster though. :P
Kris
4:38 AM
Noames said…
What goes around comes around, I say. I'd guess you were part of her (envy-inducing) inspiration to start her own weight loss journey

But whatever helps you get the weight-loss fitness drive back can't be too bad.
5:37 AM
Mamacita (The REAL one) said…
Everybody's different. Go at your own pace and don't worry about hers.

Besides, she's probably eaten up with jealousy over your sweetness and kindness and general innate coolness, so it all evens out.

And you'll hit your goal. I know you will. Keep on, lady.
5:45 AM
Shannin said…
As you know, this isn't a race. Hopefully you can use your feelings as inspiration and motivation.
5:49 AM
Anonymous said…
Plus shakes and such, that's not the "real" way to live. What happens when she goes back to eating regular meals? Has she learned about nutrition or how to fight her demons? I. Think. Not. Not to mention, you are much sexier than she is. Duh.
7:12 AM
Anonymous said…
Know what you mean, both about the envy and about how hard it can get after so long. I'm waiting for it to be easy again myself, seems only fair. Don't stress too much about the envy, I think that's a common human feeling and understanding it is as important as feeling it.
12:53 PM
Anonymous said…
I'm with Marla, slow and steady woman! I'm on year 3 of trying to lose 90lbs and although I wish it were a lot faster, I've learned so much over the three years. I've learned I can maintain when things go to pot, what works and doesn't work for me, and learned to love the body as well. Had it all been such a quick fix, I'm pretty sure I'd be back to my highest weight pretty fast.

Maintaining is a HUGE accomplishment Denise - you just need to find your groove again. One day at a time. One meal at a time. One workout at a time.
2:05 PM
Dawnyal said…
I think you have been given some wonderful advice. I just wanted to add that I have been there before. I had to remind myself that I wasn't willing to make those same sacrifices she made and therefore I had nothing to be envious of.
2:50 PM
Anonymous said…
Babe, just checked out your progress chart ... and it's not actually too bad ... maybe you're a bit too close to it ... that said, I guess its' a bit hard to get away from your own body!! Just to encourage, I found out last year that in times of high stress, which I won't go into, I EAT - gold medal standard!!!! So, it has taken me from beginning September 2004 to end April 2005 to take off the weight I put on in 3 MONTHS last year ... but I got there ... and now I can keep going to where I want to be ... YOU WILL GET THERE TOO - life just caught up with you for a while ... but hey, you noticed! And not only noticed, you're doing something about it - so how can you lose (if you know what I mean)!
4:23 PM
Argy said…
They all said it so much better than I would have. Like every person on a weight loss saga, I have turned green at times. But each on their own pace really. And you have found your rhythm. Just stick to it honey :)
2:31 AM
Alda said…
Like Shannin said, it's not a race. You're doing great for *you*. Hang in there!
3:20 AM
Rebecca said…
You know, I think we all do that. Comparing yourself to someone else is common. And if it wasn't her, it would be someone else.
Hang in there, you'll find your motivation again soon. Well, actually, you have that, it's just getting in the "zone" again.

:)
1:03 PM
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