Not easy

Tuesday morning. So it turns out that just attending a therapy session doesn't "cure" Binge Eating Disorder. Well, darn!

I've been doing my usual evening bingeing every night (except Saturday and Sunday, when I was with TCB) since my appointment with the therapist last week. Additionally, I kept the food journal for two meals, right up until the bingeing started. I'd really hoped that I'd be able/willing to keep the journal, as a first sign that I was growing and recovering but, again, I guess just attending the session wasn't enough to make a difference yet. *sigh*

Part of my not posting for five days is down to my unhappiness with my unwillingness to stop bingeing but a bigger part is the fact that I'm staying really busy at work and keeping pretty busy at home, too. Saturday, I spent from 8am to 3pm with Alcott and his younger brothers, then I had my (very overdue) brow waxing appointment, then it was off to spend some time with TCB and the kittens. Since I didn't bring my laptop with me, I couldn't post from his place and yesterday was running around at work followed by more Alcott from 4pm to 8:30pm. Yikes, I'm tired!


Tiffany said…
I hope you keep practicing at keeping your food journal, because it seems as if it would be a good tool to develop. This is your first week trying this--you don't have to be good at it yet!

Your life sounds so stressful right now!! Good stress, in a way, since it sounds like you are being productive--but stress none the less. Like you told me--you've got to take care of yourself in order to be successful with such a busy schedule! I hope you find a few minutes each day for some healthy stress-relief!

Best wishes for the rest of the week!
M@rla said…
Don't worry, it's going to even out. I think it's not surprising that one session of therapy would actually make you binge more for a while. It's bringing a lot of stress to the forefront, but the therapy isn't yet far along enough to be providing tools for dealing with the stress. In other words, it might get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.
M@rla said…
Also, please tell us everything you learn from the therapist, so we don't have to pay for our own counseling.
Argy said…
echos Marla...echos Marla


Things for me got worse indeed but it was not long before they begun to get better. And through all this time I am doing therapy, things have gone back sometimes. But what keeps one going is that once you have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how back to the tunnel you go, no matter how dark, you KNOW there is an exit!!!!

Noames said…
you're so brave for going to the therapist and tackling this issue head on. I'm impressed and inspired, (as usual). And I'm glad to see that things elsewhere in life (TCB, new job, house) are going well!
Anonymous said…
A food journal is absolutely essential. The reason it's so difficult: The truth hurts. BIG time!
La said…
Really? It takes more than one session? Well, DANG then! ;-)

I know what you mean, though. We want everything to happen NOW and it's frustrating when things don't go the way we want them to according to our own timeline and agenda. But in the end, things will work out in the timeframe they are meant to. Best wishes!
Keep going back to therapy! It may help you get back on track yet.
Niki said…
For what its worth I suffered from bulimia on and off for about 10 years. I am now 18 months free of b/p. I was in therpay for a good 6 months (weekly, sometimes more) before I stopped the outward behavior. Its a slow process. Give yourself time and when its right, you will stop. Something will "click" in your head, that "ahaaaa" moment when you realize you are ready to make that step. You'll find it. Be patient with yourself. This coming from a complete stranger, lol. Good luck.

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