Reintegration

Monday morning. I had a really nice weekend after a very scary end of last week.

Thursday night, I was at the Cheesecake Factory, having dinner with Genevieve (the CASA for Alcott's siblings) and a couple of her friends, prior to departing for the Gwen Stefani/Black Eyed Peas concert, when I got a call from TCB. He told me that his boss had just let him know that he'd need to get more desert camoflage because he was being sent to Iraq in March. I struggled to keep the tears out of my voice as I asked if he was kidding and he assured me that he was not. I couldn't enjoy the concert, I couldn't enjoy my cheesecake (that's how you KNOW I was not myself!), and I cried intermittantly on the way home later that night. How could this happen? I'm almost 40, so what are the chances that I'll find another fabulous guy in my lifetime? And it hit me, most strongly, that I do love this man and that the thought of his being taken from me is just not something I can bear. The next morning when I called to check in with him, he told me that his boss had been "just kidding". I wanted to kill or maim both of them!

After I'd simmered down a bit and savored the sweet release of tension, I realized that I needed to acknowledge how much the thought of his departure from my life had affected me. To that end, I'm reintegrating this site with my Ramblings About a Boy site. I'd originally created that alternate site just to keep this site from becoming All About TCB, but last week's events proved to me that he's a huge part of my life and that he belongs here with everything else that's important to me. If you don't want to read about "will he? won't he?" you'll just have to cross me off of your list, I guess, because he's here and he's staying here!

Comments

Shrinking Girl said…
Denise, I would definitely have throttled both of them. That's just a horrible trick or mistake or whatever it was. I cannot imagine working for/with someone who would think that this was funny!
Kate G. said…
How awful! You know you got bad news when cheesecake doesn't even taste good. I'm glad to hear he won't be going to Iraq after all.
La said…
I think you're wise to integrate the two parts of your journalling life as they really are entirely connected. Especially if you've already acknowledged that your eating issues are emotionally based - he's a huge part of your emotional life. On a purely selfish note, that means I don't have to read two separate blogs to live vicariously through you (ha ha).
Anonymous said…
Yay for lubbins and that warm feeling.

Yeah, nothing intelligent...just schmoop.
Anonymous said…
What a wonderful revelation. (But a tasteless trick too!)
Anonymous said…
Speaking of reintegration... I know when I started dating my now-husband, it completely drained a lot of time and energy from other parts of my life for 6 months to a year and I definately stopped exercising as much for a while. Maybe when you and TCB get things figured out a bit more it'll be easier to focus on other things again?

Nasty nasty joke. Just before we got engaged, my now-husband proposed moving from Boston to Portland, with me stuck in Boston, and I spent a solid weekend crying about that. And there wasn't even a war going on in Portland!

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