What else is there?
Sunday night. Yes, another weekend blown by with no discernable progress on the weight loss and fitness thing. Well, I did get about halfway through Governor Huckabee's book, and I really am finding it quite inspirational. Of course, he advises that you stick strictly to whichever program you choose for the first 12 days and, with a military ball to attend with TCB this weekend in the desert, that means I'll be pushing things back until at least Monday night when I return. Still, I can (and will!) make the call to the therapist tomorrow and see if I can get in on Wednesday. Something that the book really emphasizes is not underestimating the importance of taking small steps at first so I'm going to give myself credit if I can manage to pick up the phone and make the call. Basically, as I see it, it all comes down to this: what other option do I have? I can't just give up and stay this way forever. I'm uncomfortable, I'm unhappy, I'm unhealthy, and I won't live long if I keep on this path. No, change must happen and it must come from me.
I spent both weekend mornings with Alcott and his siblings and they're really in a very good place right now. I need to finish up my (two days late) court report and then I can consider that part of my life "good". TCB is, well, TCB, and he's fine, too. Daddy has been slowly gaining his 50 pounds lost right back (like father, like daughter) and has Mom really terrified, so I need to think about how I can help him. I've got to send letters of support for two pieces of pending legislation in the California Assembly as part of my Junior League duties, so I really need to get on that, too. Still and all, the other parts of my life are doing OK and it's time that I put the focus back on me before the pain I'm feeling starts to creep into all of the other wonderful parts of my life. I've worked too hard for this...every blessed second of it, and I'm not going to sit back and let it disappear!
I spent both weekend mornings with Alcott and his siblings and they're really in a very good place right now. I need to finish up my (two days late) court report and then I can consider that part of my life "good". TCB is, well, TCB, and he's fine, too. Daddy has been slowly gaining his 50 pounds lost right back (like father, like daughter) and has Mom really terrified, so I need to think about how I can help him. I've got to send letters of support for two pieces of pending legislation in the California Assembly as part of my Junior League duties, so I really need to get on that, too. Still and all, the other parts of my life are doing OK and it's time that I put the focus back on me before the pain I'm feeling starts to creep into all of the other wonderful parts of my life. I've worked too hard for this...every blessed second of it, and I'm not going to sit back and let it disappear!
Comments
There are already so many good comments on the post just below but I wanted to stick in my two cents (I can't help myself). You are in a very tough place right now. And I can totally relate, as so many others here can. Most of us HAVE been in that deep dark place that you feel you will never get out of. But you CAN! Its those baby steps. The ones that feel like crap when you take them, the ones that feel inconsequential at that moment. But I promise when you look back on them you relaize those are really the biggest and most important steps of all. I wish you the very very best and I'm sending you loving positive thoughts. You CAN do this. Big Hugs girl.
Ooh! A military ball! That sounds lovely--I hope you enjoy it!
I hope you make that call today. Take care of yourself! You do so many wonderful things for other people--just look at that last paragraph!--that you deserve to do at least one wonderful thing for yourself today.
Good luck with your Dad as well. I know that it is very important for you to help him out.
It gets so frustrating sometimes. I know sometimes I'll be exercising like crazy and dieting and no pounds and inches lost. Other times, it just drops for no reason at all...freaky. Keep up your spirits! And have a wonderful time at the ball, princess!
As to you, you are so ON your right track that you should be happy about it really - it is those very tiny baby steps that will do it and they seem so insignificant when you take them - but they add up and then add up fast when you don't stress over them (and I know it sounds so easy to say it but I have lived it too for two years also), My ex and I just seperated, she had her GB in 2003, and things went well, then plateaud,and progressed again but is holding right now and gaining some back and I supported her thru all of it up and down. Her dad too, had his done last year and between them make each other work harder at it to keep going... her recent gain is stress I am sure from our seperation while we sort it out,and it's unfortunately had the reverse affect on me - I lost 30 pounds in a month and a half, so although it has been good for my health that way, it's really an unhealthy way also to lose it.
the best advice? take those baby steps, but take them literally - walking is the best way to get the cardio that will help you out - get a treadmill or walk around the block every day .... morningss and afternoons/evenings if you can and you will see it leave you, and you will feel the energy return! Wishes and Hopes for you! Doug.