I've never been fond of squid in any form

Monday night. To understand my title, go here.

OK, so I've never been a particularly daring person and so, perhaps understandably, have not taken a lot of risks in my life. Or so I imagined before I gave it some thought. No, I haven't skydived or worn low rise jeans with belly bulge (GACK!), but I've done a few ballsy things:

* I ended a marriage of five years to my dearest friend which most people thought was the most perfect marriage ever. (Of course, none of those people was inside the relationship, but that's beside the point.) Result? He's remarried and incredibly happy with a woman who is yin to his yang and I've started on a journey of loving myself without reservation or consideration of what a man might think

* I left a position I'd had for ten years to manage a team of people who do something I cannot do myself with processes I'm not familiar with. (Without a pay raise.) Result? I've become a lot more comfortable with the phrase "I'm not familiar with that, can you show me?" and I now know that it's not impossible to keep up performance and project management meetings with ten people on a bi-weekly basis

* I've made myself emotionally vulnerable to a teenage boy and am acting as his advocate in the foster care system. Result? My life has purpose and meaning beyond my own little dramas and I've realized that my words and actions really do make a difference. (I still can't believe that someone thought I was worthy of this boy...have they seen the state of my laundry pile???)

* I have talked about some of my deepest, darkest secrets here...things I've never told a single soul. I worried that I'd lose anyone that might be reading me but I worried more than being dishonest or not completely open was ripping me apart. Result? I've never felt healthier emotionally and I no longer feel like a piece of nasty scum because I made mistakes in my past. Binge eating is not necessarily the worst of the coping mechanisms I've employed to make the hurting stop and I hope that working through that issue will help in every area that needs mending

So, definitely not your average risk-taker here, but who wants to be average anyway?

Thanks, Brooke, for the nudge!


Anonymous said…
You know, I think you're more of a risk taker than you realize. Real "life" risks are a lot more... well, risky... than eating some new exotic food or jumping off a building with a giant elastic band wrapped around your waist!

And those low rise jeans? Not risky - just stupid! ;)

I think you're awesome and inspiring.
Anonymous said…
One person's risk is another's everyday .... so for some of the (things you don't think are) risks you've taken I'd bet there's a BASE jumper, bull runner, race car driver, squid eater out there who thinks it's something they'd never do. I think just getting up, taking a breath, and walking out the door is a risk really - you honestly just don't ever know what the day will bring. So keep on keeping on, just as you are, doing, changing, evolving ... and have a Great Christmas and best wishes for an awesome 2006 [I'm Australian, we say Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays :)].
Leesa said…
Great answers!
(new here, hi!)
Anonymous said…
Good for you in taking those risks, I am still learning but your post is an inspiration that you won't always fall flat on your face when you take a step in a new direction.
Shannin said…
I think those are all great risks! You wouldn't be where you are today without having taken some paths a little less traveled.
Brooke said…
honey! you are SO BRAVE it makes me tear up. Good for you!
Gary said…
I just saw your profile on Blog Explosion and thought I'd stop by. You have a great blog.

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