All or nothing...forget about moderation

Monday morning. Let me start off by saying "Thank You" to anyone who's serving, who has served in the past, or who's lost someone they love serving our country in one of the five military branches. I cannot express adequately my gratitude for the fact that you're willing to risk your life for my security and freedom. Today and always, I am proud of each of you.

So, I've been thinking a lot about weight loss and fitness: how I've been successful in the past and how I can get that success back again. (How I can get it back again without losing TCB, Alcott, or the Junior League, to be more specific.) Anyway, what I'm currently thinking about is that I'm fighting really hard to be more (mentally and emotionally) healthy, more moderate in the losing this time around. No "all or nothing" for me, not this time. And yet. And yet, that's how I've been successful. All out, all in, pedal to the floor, damn the torpedos. And it works. It works really well. Every day that I stay out of shape and fat is another day closer to a really nasty death due to diabetic complications. I need to get this show on the road and get things (mostly my body) moving again. How can I get the single-minded focus on eating right and moving consistently while still maintaining relationships and responsibilities? I'm not exactly sure, but I know it's not going to happen if I just wish for it.

I did two 30 minute video hikes on last night. I'm not sore this morning and I'm planning to do two more as soon as I'm done here. If I can get the food mojo working and keep the walking going...maybe this can work. Maybe I just need to take three weeks (that's how long it takes to make a new habit) off from work to focus solely on me? I could do short (4 hour) shifts with Alcott and the other kids, just once a week, and explain to TCB that I need the time to myself to get back on track. My Junior League stuff doesn't really fire up again until late June, so this could (theoretically) work. I've been saying that I need a vacation, so maybe this is two birds with one stone? Let me think on this a while.


Brooke said…
watch out: unasked for advice ahead!

I think you're amazing. You do so much for other people, it's really something to see.

But I also think that people who are very giving tend to put themselves last. Maybe for an hour a day, maybe the first hour of each day, you should put yourself first, by eating a healthy breakfast and taking a 45-minute walk.

Make it you time. Make a commitment to yourself to give that to yourself, every day, and to not feel selfish about it.

I know, I know, a pedicure and a Sara Lee would be so much better. I know. But. You have to commit to yourself, you have to take care of yourself, before you can commit to or take care of anyone else. This, I know for sure.

Anyway. Good luck, hope this advice isn't landing on you wrong (I do mean it kindly, and these are issues I wrangle with too), and hey! good on you for thinking about taking a nice long vacation.
M@rla said…
I know this is sort of a "duh" idea, but can you just focus on doing the healthy things and not on the results? To me it's a lot less pressure, less all-or-nothing if I tell myself I have to do x amount of exercise and eat x type/amount of food because it's healthy, than if I tell myself I have to do x and eat x SO THAT I LOSE WEIGHT!!! I don't know why attitude has so much to do with what should be a purely physical/chemical situation, but it does...
Anonymous said…
Well now, that IS rather an all-or-nothing solution for an all-or-nothing sort of gal!

It sounds like it would certainly yield a lot if you were able to gather the wherewithall to put all of the other demands on hold or part-time duty. Definitely intriguing -- especially for someone as productive and singleminded as you when you take on a project. (Hey, somebody should pay you for managing projects! Oh wait, they already do.....and probably not at a rate commensurate with your ownership and level of execution. But anyway.......)

Another option might be to take on the greater and more permanent challenge of incorporating into your already full life some focused and calculated "me time," the sort of me time where you put yourself first and prioritize your own health. I hope that doesn't sound naggy, because I really don't mean it that way! I just think that the most successful longterm approach might have to include some kind of shuffling, or restructuring, of all of the important facets of your life to shift back to the front this goal.

Taking the 3 weeks, if you can pull it off, could give you that big POW! beginning that is so motivating, but the challenge will remain afterwards in reworking the puzzle to include adequate time for maintaining the momentum of that initial jumpstart.

I just know that whatever you set your mind to, beautiful Denise, you accomplish. You've had so many amazing, enriching developments over the last couple of years -- it's natural to have shifting priorities! (So don't beat yourself up for having put the weight loss on hold while you focused on other facets of Denisedom!) Since you're really wanting to wrap your arms around the good health/bad fat thing again, I have no doubt you'll figure it out. I think the hardest part -- it is for me, anyway -- is the daily process of reprioritizing it......and then "selfishly" holding onto that time for this pursuit which is so often a solitary one.

I love you always, I love reading your words. *hug*

(Sorry this was such a long-ass comment! Crazy!)
Jocelyn said…
Ditto to what the previous commenters have said - you are an inspiration in your generosity to others, and your commitment to everthing else you do.

I think you deserve that kind of commitment for yourself now too. I know it is hard to put yourself a higher priority, but I believe you really need to do that.

I also believe that lasting weight loss comes from establishing habits that you can commit to everyday for the rest of your life. Three weeks off to get started may well be a great boost, but it is kind of a crash and burn situation when you try and go back to normal life at the end of it. Instead committing to a period of time each day to put yourself first that fits in with the rest of your busy life will give you more benefit long term.

Sorry, I know this sound preachy, but I cant find the right words to say what is in my head right now, mainly because I am at a similar point and still trying to work it all out too.

Babysteps, prioritising (yourself being the number one priority) and accepting that this will take time to get the hang of are three things I would see in your future.

Wishing you all the best, and hoping you will not take offense at my ham fisted attempts at suggestions :-)
I am in line with all the advice given on this blog. If you took off 3 weeks, that might kick start you to give you an edge, but then you have to get back to reality of everyday life so why not just start there and take more time for yourself. Start work an hour later? Cut back on hours? Leave earlier?
Besides, that 3 week thing puts a lot of pressure on you to perform perfectly and you might be setting yourself up for a backslide if you're not as successful as you think you should be.

It'll come...I do maintain though that you need to include others in your life in this goal in a supportive role..they can and should be willing to help you whether it's helping shop, cook good meals, clean up, exercise with you etc. AND celebrate your successes with you as well as be a soft cushion to fall on the odd time you fall short of perfection!
Don't mean to sound like Dr. Phil but it just makes sense.

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