One evening I said to Denise, "I don't guess you could marry me and live in a coal town?"

Monday night. Some days are easier than others. I could end today's post with that simple thought (and that's a tempting idea, believe me) because it sort of sums up everything I'm thinking right now. I do well at some things and then I binge again. I think it's just Life reminding me to stay humble and not take anything for granted. If that's correct, then I'm happy to say that it's working.

It's the oddest thing, this moderation thing. How do you know if you're doing it right if you're not perfect? It's as though I have nothing to measure myself against and it leaves me sort of anxious and confused sometimes. Other times I just go with the flow and stop overthinking it, but it's difficult to give up the habit of a lifetime overnight, you know?

Anyway, had a nice weekend - completely binge-free. Spent time with both Alcott and his older brother. Spent time with TCB although not at the SD County Fair, as was his desire. (Way too hot for me. Way.) Still haven't had the big conversation that I want to have and I hate that because it makes me fearful that there's lots of stuff going on just under the surface that we're not talking about. I know we're happy, but are we happy?

I think that's all that I want to write at this point, so I'll go.


Nell said…
It's like not asking the question that you already know the answer to.

I hate that feeling.

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