Thursday afternoon. In my session with Gloria last night, we talked about forgiveness - for myself and for others. She told me that the uncontrollable crying and rage that I felt on Sunday with TCB is a good thing because it's bringing up (and out) all of the really nasty stuff that I've been repressing. Bringing it up in a constructive instead of destructive way is always a good thing and, hey!, at least I wasn't destructive to anyone in my latest explosion of emotion. What she told me was that there are creative and destructive ways to express anger and the only creative way is to ask a question. The question has to be based on genuine curiosity and not be a jab at the other person disguised as a question, i.e., "Are you aware that you're the stupidest person currently in this room???" So, my homework for this week is, when I feel anger, to find a question to ask in response to the anger. I think this sounds like fun, frankly, so we'll see how I go.

Gloria also told me that TCB's response to my mini-breakdown was very encouraging. He didn't try to make me stop crying, he just asked me questions that helped me open up as I was ready to do so and made me feel that it was safe to let the emotions out. She asked if his response had surprised me and I think it did in some way, although it shouldn't have. He's a very gentle, very caring man, and he understands emotions well even if he's not the best at expressing them verbally.

Yay for cute boys who don't freak out when you cry!


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